Sam and Darcy had been friends from the first day they started work at MedStat and each month they would celebrate their ‘anniversary’ with an extravagant lunch at one of Seattle’s finer dining establishments. Being on the lower end of the pay scale lunch was all that was affordable, still lunch at a nice restaurant is just as good as the higher priced evening meals. The only challenge for Sam was that Darcy was a devout vegetarian and if were her month to pick where they were going, he knew that he’d be Jonesing for a burger before dinner. Fortunately for Sam it was his month to choose and it was art and soup. One of Seattle best hideaway eating establishments is Arterios in the heart of the city. A quiet and unassuming art studio at ground level, a hidden stairwell to its bowels invited art appreciators to share more than just a passion for the subject. It was a unique dining experience where a soup of the day and bread was served with a cup of mead or water on a family style meal table. You simply grabbed a bowl, filled it up with soup and the hostess would unload bread and mead at your table. Due to the popularity and eating arrangement, you had no choice but to interact with others. Sam loved it. The chance to meet new people and interject into otherwise private discussions. Darcy just thought it was bizarre behavior to want to share sup with strangers. Of course she was probably more bent by the fact that the soup of the day was a beef and barley. So, bread and water for Darcy… Sam felt it was good payback for making him suffer through a bokchoy buffet the previous month.
“So Samuel, you seem in a chipper mood,” Darcy said with a little animosity in her voice. While she didn’t mean to be, too often she was down on most situations and activities. She wasn’t exactly Emo, but she was a close as a girl from Wisconsin could be.
“I am just happy to be celebrating our 24th anniversary,” Sam smiled holding up his mead glass. An older woman who appeared to be homeless gave them a wide toothless smile and raised her glass tapping it to Sam’s.
“Congratulations you two, you must have been married in elementary school, you don’t look old enough to have 24 anniversaries under your belt,” the old lady said in a cigarette destroyed voice. Darcy started to interject when Sam jumped in.
“Thank you ma’am… we like to think that it s the morning, afternoon and nightly sex that keeps us looking so young.” Sam clinked her glass and smiling nodded at Darcy. She looked back at him over her horned him glasses almost scandalous but appreciated his wit to show up this conversation interloper. Meanwhile, the ancient homeless woman continued to smile and nodded her head before returning to her forgotten bowl of soup.
“So Sam, I heard that you had quite a presentation this morning in front of the board. I also hear you accepted a huge raise to go along with your new job.
“Well, I was given a new title but if there is any money involved, no one told me about it.”
“Nice try, you are buying lunch this time and next,” Darcy said slopping large helpings of butter on her bread and taking a healthy sized bite.
“I don’t really see myself as the leader type. I am more of the get it done guy.”
“That is exactly the attitude that is going to keep you a bottom feeder. You need to be more aggressive if you expect to ever make enough money to buy a new car.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the car I have,” Sam said defensively.
“Excuse me, but Bessie needed to be let to pasture many a moon ago. I am shocked that the emission control people haven’t banned you from driving it.”
“It’s a classic car and thereby exempt from emission testing.” Sam smiled slurping a full spoon of beef with barly bits.
“Oh, is that what they’re calling Sanford and Son lot specials now?” Darcy whipped smartly.
“Ok, ok. Enough about my car. I take the bus remember, so I am doing my part to keep the planet safe.” Sam learned a long time ago about Darcy’s sensitivities to the environment, recycling and pollution making devices and helped him improve his awareness. Still, he loved driving and missed taking his car out whenever he wanted.
“So I saw that piece of junk in the garage this morning. Oversleep again?”
“No, I ran into a woman and missed my bus…” he was cut off before he could finish.
“Oh! I see! By run into I assume you mean putting it to her, good for you Samuel”, Darcy finally smiled a big toothed grin reserved for moments that truly amused her. The homeless lady sitting next to them spied briefly and shook her head at her nearly empty bowl of soup. Had it been empty, Sam was sure she would have extricated herself from the situation post haste.
“No, I mean I literally ran into her and knocked her down and by the time we picked our stuff the bus left. I did the gentlemanly thing and offered her a ride into the city.”
“No! You idiot! You let her see that piece of shit car of yours. I thought I taught you better than that. Women don’t go for guys who drive beaters! They go out with guys who drive nice cars. New cars. Cars with style, character and ones that have been washed with some relative frequency. You can kiss your chances with her goodbye forever, and so goes my dream for you to get some this year.” With this diatribe from Darcy, the homeless woman finally got up and left the table mumbling about crazy swingers and sex crazed lunatics.
“She must not have been too put off, she is getting a ride home in my beater POS.”
“Date number 2…ooooh, this is getting good.” Darcy, smiling again engaged herself in the process. “So, drive her to the park and ride, offer to cook her dinner, take her back to your place and knock boots.”
“You know Darcy, I have often wondered if you channel a previous life where you were a pig.” Samuel smiled as Darcy seemed non plus.
“I am your one and only friend who is honestly trying to help you and you need to get laid as soon as possible. It will correct your attitude issues, give you some chutzpah to take that management role seriously and it might even clear up some of that acne.”
“I like where you’re going with this, but I would be happy just to have someone in my life that I can watch movies with and fall asleep on the couch in each other’s arms.” Darcy motioned sticking a finger down her throat as Sam looked away into blank space.
“I know that you still channel a woman who lives in you today. You need to grow a pair and be more of a man, women need to be wanted, desired and begged for sex. It’s our power trip and the other Nancy fancy ideas you have is just supplemental until the next time you want to go for it.”
The large elderly woman who wore a plastic apron, hairnet and scowl on her face cleared bowls and plates from their table as she gave them the ‘you’ve eaten your share, now leave’ glare. Darcy smiled toothily at her and remained seated in defiance.
“It doesn’t matter anyway Darce,” Sam started calling her his shortened once syllable name for her. “I don’t have the cash to make her dinner much less take her out on a real date. Best I can do is pay for the gas that will get us as far as the park and ride and that’s iffy.”
“Don’t look at me.” Darcy started. “I get paid less than you do and I have commitments for my cash. And don’t forget, it’s your turn to pay for lunch so don’t give me any of that ‘I need the money for a woman’ bullshit”.
“I would never ask, but I do have a problem. I am seriously interested in this woman and I need to find a way to make some money fast.”
“Pawn your stuff.” Darcy stated as though it was the obvious answer.
“That would require I have stuff worth something and they expect you to buy it back. No, I need a better way to get some cash quick.” Sam and Darcy sat silently with interchanging grimaces and serious countenance.
“I know, you can sell your toys on Ebay.” Darcy said with finality.
“First of all they are not toys…they are collectible movie related plastic models sealed in their original boxes. They will be worth a lot some day.”
“And why is that day not today? Is this girl not worth unloaded some of your precious little TOYS!” Darcy was sounding more offended by Samuels attitude and figured a good slap into reality would help him see clearly.
“Ouch, why can’t we make it through a lunch without you having an epiphany and slapping me across the face.” Sam stood rubbing his hand on his face. Darcy stood also and followed him to the cashier desk where he paid the bill and the pittance of change he had left over he pocketed.
“You know, Broomhilda over there is going to remember that you didn’t tip her and she will definitely spit in your goulash next time we show our faces here.” Darcy nodded her head back to the large plastic apron wearing Germanic woman.
“I need to get gas and every penny counts.”