“So you were an Obama supporter right,” Jessica said looking at Sam as he turned onto the bypass lane.  Seattle is a city on the water and offers a beautiful vista.  The only problem is that  it also offers little in the way of roadway expansion, and with a growing population roadway designers had to become creative.  Carpool lanes worked for a few years, but with the promise of low housing costs and increasing job opportunities spawned by Microsoft, Nintendo, Amazon and Adobe, Californians were trading in their sunglasses for Birkenstocks and filling up the roadways.  The newest invention was a time of day expressway that would travel into the city in the morning and out of the city in the afternoon. The expressway could only be used by carpoolers thereby satisfying the dense population of granola tree huggers.

“Why do you say that,” Sam said a little annoyed.

“Well it’s obvious that you haven’t been impacted by the stimulus package and you weren’t impacted by the financial gains of the previous administration, so you must be a democrat,” Jessica said conversationally.

“It’s equally obvious that I’ve held the same job for fifteen years, I am conservative in my spending and I don’t invest in anything that doesn’t say Do Not Remove by Penalty of Law.”  He said sounding a little more annoyed.

“You realize you just told me you keep all your money under your mattress right?  What are you, Amish or something?”  This time she seemed a little light at the mocking of his situation.

“Yes and no,” he said.

“What?” Jessica asked.

“Yes, I am foolish for telling you where I keep my money and no I am not Amish.   However, if you were to come to my house and dig under my bed, you would have to combat the armies of dust bunnies that have been guarding my vault, and while I don’t believe they have a religious preference, they do possess a mistrusting of the English and band together in small ordnunds,” and this time he too was sounding lighter.

“So are you saying that you did vote for Obama,” Jessica said pressing.

“I had a meeting scheduled earlier today, but there was a problem with the Helicopter and the VP was camping out in my lanai,” Sam Murmured. 

“What meeting?” Jessica asked looking confused.

“No and none, as in no I didn’t vote for Obama and it’s none of your business who I did vote for,” Sam said starting to sound annoyed again.  He monitored his mirrors, especially the passenger side mirror and hoped he appeared to be the responsible driver.  Of course it was to catch glimpses of those beautiful aqua marine eyes and the sly smirk on her lips.  He wanted to keep those looks burned in his mind the whole day so that when he made his way home he would have something to envision as he pleased himself.

“For someone who is mindless enough to run over women in a parking lot, you come off sounding a little holier than thou,” she said and this time she really was smiling.  He was captured by her smile and knew that this brief chance encounter would end in approximately 9 minutes leaving him a small window of opportunity to impress her to the point that she would allow him to ask her for her number.

“I voted green okay, and it’s not to sound preachy or anything.  I just wanted to demonstrate to the Donkephants that the current two party system has degenerated to a single minded politic playing menagerie and that smart people recognize what is happening with our government and we are riding the outer lying swells that will eventually build, crest and break the current systems.” Sam sounded confident this time as he utilized rhetoric from his many night of political blogging prior to the last presidential election.

“Donkephants, that’s cute.  Why not Elekeys?”  She smiled looking at Sam.

“Elekeys was already being used by a group of elementary school children for a pet iguana that they had a webcam focused on.  He is quite the hit for animal lovers,” Sam responded as though Jessica’s question was pertinent.

“I apologize for saying that you sounded holier than thou, I realize now that you sound more Marxist with the demise of the current democratic process,” Jessica laughed.

“I don’t want to take down the system, just the people who are polluting it.  I thought you could appreciate that after those same powers are likely the reason you lost your job in the first place,” and before the words finished coming out of his mouth he knew they should never have been spoken.  Jessica looked out the passenger window at the mind-numbing and never ending barrier guards.

After a few minutes of silence Jessica finally spoke.  “Don’t apologize Sam…”

“I’m sorry…” Sam started feeling ashamed that he hadn’t thought to apologize.

“You pay no attention to what anyone says do you Sammy,” Jessica said starting to smile again.  “Anyway, I didn’t lose my job, I quit.”

“Well good for you, there is nothing like an uncomfortable ride with a social degenerate who had to get railroaded out of the building and most likely escorted by security,” Sam smiled back.

“Well it was actually the police, but they were very nice about packing up my personal effects and seeing me out of the building,” Jessica said straight faced and looking straight ahead.  Sam sat looking at her with his mouth open snapping his head back in time to see the car in front of him coming to a sudden stop.  They both leaned forward as Sam applied a great deal of pressure to the brakes and at that moment Jessica started laughing.  “You are so gullible Samster”.  Sam smiled half heartedly back at her and paid closer attention to his driving.

“So Jessica, what company are you working for in Seattle?  Microsoft, Adobe, Eddie Bauer…?”  Sam asked.

“How long have you lived here Sam?”

“Six years,” Sam answered.

“Well Sam, you either don’t get out much or have a poor sense of direction.  Those companies are in Redmond which is two small lakes away from Seattle.”  Jessica gave him a puzzled look as though she believed that he must be putting her on.

“I know, I was just testing to see if you’d try to fool me into knowing where you work,” Sam stumbled then continued.  “Not that it’s any of my business.  I am not a stalker and I don’t need to know where you work.  Geez I’m sorry, I sound like a complete idiot.”

Jessica smirked, “As a matter of fact, you do look like a complete idiot.  And the fact that you stumble all over yourself when you talk just proves it.  I am guessing you either work at a bank as a cashier or as a customer service representative.  Am I close?”

“That’s amazing!  I’m an accounts rep, which is just a glorified CSR.”  Sam turned for a minute and watched as Jessica continued to stare straight ahead.  “How did you know that?”

“I’m a profiler…or at least was…I worked for a prominent law firm and I helped with picking members for jury’s.  I would monitor body language, mannerisms and with a slight bit of personal history I can usually guess an occupation 90% of the time and can also tell you how they will vote on certain issues.  I find people to be completely predictable, yourself included.”  Jessica spoke less confident toward the end of her statement and turned her head to look out the passenger window.

Tentatively Sam asked, “So are you predictable?”

“Too much so, which is why I am no longer a profiler… and on that point I would like to change the subject.”  She sat looking out the passenger window a little longer and then turned back to Sam with a hidden tear still lingering in one eye which the smile on her face could not hide.  “So Samuel, where do you work and yes I am a stalker and I will pursue you if you don’t tell me?”

“I work at the Key Tower building for a medical company.  I process claims and handle customer care complaints.  It is a good job, I like it.”  Sam smiled a little less confident.  “Did you  know that it rains more in San Francisco than in Seattle?”

“Do you think I’ve lived in Washington for a week?”  Jessica asked not waiting for a reply even though she saw Sam’s head beginning to shake and turn.  “We native Washatonians have always known the facts and hide them from the rest of the world.  We don’t want over population, housing price increases and more taxes.  It’s people like you who tell those California freaks that encourages them to pack up the Electric car and bring their crazy selves on up here.”

“I don’t tell everyone,” Sam defended.

“Sam, how did you decide to move here?  You’ve lived here six years according to your earlier statement, so you must be a transplant.  Just don’t tell me you are from California, I might have to pull this spring out the seat that has been stabbing me in the ass for the past 30 minutes and stab it through your eye.”  At first she didn’t smile as though this would be as natural as taking a drink of water.  Then she gave Sam a tell tale joking smirk.

“I am from California,” Sam started as Jessica gave him a mocking gasp.  “However, I grew up with my Dad in a small beach town in Southern California.  My mom is from Oregon and has lived here since I was two.  When I was a teenager, I made the choice to come and live with my mom which I did until I joined the Army…” With the last statement, Jessica raised an eyebrow.  Sam guessed that her profiling skills did not help to indicate himself as a veteran.  “After eight years of service, an armed conflict and a full on desert war, I decided to give up on playing soldier and look for a safer career, like castrating bulls.”  He laughed to himself, but he could see that Jessica didn’t cotton to the humor.  “Of course after the Army I struggled finding work and ended up moving back home with my mom and stepdad, and six years later here I am.”

“Did you ever shoot anyone?”  Jessica asked still looking surprised with some expectation around the corners of her mouth, Sam thought he saw some saliva pooling there.

“I was a 71 Mike, a Chaplain Assistant.  The only thing I shot was photos of sand dunes to send home to my family.” 

“Family you say,” Jessica recovered easily.  “Is that a wife, kids, girlfriend…?”

“I have five brothers and two sisters, that consists of mi familia,” Sam said smiling as he flared his Spanish accent.  “So that is my story and here I am, so now it’s your turn local girl.”

“I have parents, I live here and always have and I have a cat named Muffles.  It doesn’t get deeper than that,” Jessica said indifferently.

“Why Muffles?” Sam asked.

“That’s what you took away from my life.  You aren’t interested in why I am not pouring out my deep dark history to you, my past marriages, many children, brothers who are in jail and sister who has a drinking problem… all you are really interested in my method for naming my cat?”  Jessica stated more than questioned with a bit of incredulity.

“If you wanted to share about your… seven or eight ex-husbands and fourteen kids and drug dealing brothers, you would share.  Of course, the way my mind works, I have already created your back story and it’s up to you to disprove it.  However, the cat did not figure into my profile of you,” Sam said as a matter of fact the whole time keeping his eyes on the road.  He knew, he could feel, that Jessica was assessing him with slitted eyes and then relaxing and smiling.

“You said nothing about my HIV positive prostitute sister,” she said still smiling.

“Well, you sister needed no mention, that was a given.  I also gave her an extra digit on each foot, a real turn on for her exclusive foot fetish clients.”  And they both finally laughed out loud.  Taking the off ramp into the city Sam was beginning to feel a loss in the pit of his stomach as the car ride ending would also mean quite possibly that his chance encounter with Jessica would also end.  Still, he thought, this is one going in my journal and maybe someday I will meet someone like her.

“I get off at the next corner,” Jessica stated as she grabbed her bag and other belongings.  “What time can I expect you?”  Seeing that Sam looked puzzled at her question she continued, “You brought me here, so you are responsible to take me back.  So what time can I expect you?”

“I get off at five…”

“I will be standing on this corner at 5:05 on the dot, don’t be late!”  Jessica said pronouncedly as she opened the door and stepped out.  Sam watched the back of her skirt as she walked away and noticed a little twitch in her hips that made him smile.  From behind him a tiny Japanese tweet emitted from an equally tiny import and more directly from an impatient import to the population as Sam peered in his rear view mirror and saw the distinctive sun and palm tree insignia of a California License plate.  That driver was unaware that at some point during their time in the city today they would receive a long key mark along the side of their car.  The granola, vegetarian subtle protest against ‘foreign’ drivers.

Sam pulled into the intersection still looking in his rearview mirror, smiling and waving thinking to himself that today was definitely a red letter day.  His mind wandered as he started day dreaming about his drive home and dreaded the impediment of his job that would keep him away from his exciting end of day activity.  If anyone wanted to partake in after work activities, it would be Samless as he had more pressing matters.  Stopped at the next light he felt a tap on his bumper as the foreign driver decided that a horn wasn’t enough to urge Sam to drive forward at a green light.  Sam again smiled, raised his hand to wave and slowly lowered three fingers to give the FU salute.